


What A Wonderful World

by Moxies_World09



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7475976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moxies_World09/pseuds/Moxies_World09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short K/S piece I wrote in memory of Anton Yelchin.  There is no good way to make sense of what happened to him.  But this just to pay tribute to his amazing talent.  And to his family who lost their only child on Father's Day and to the friends who lost him, my most sincere condolences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bright Sunny Days

Captain James T. Kirk stood behind the transporter panel of his ship the U.S.S. Enterprise. It was a routine survey of a planet they discovered in a remote part of the galaxy. Planet side was his Vulcan science officer and husband Spock.  
At near dusk of the newly discovered planet Lt. Kyle began working the controls and the transporter brought the landing party aboard. A small smile spread across Kirk’s face as Spock appeared on the platform.  
Spock stepped off of the platform along with the rest of the away team. Kirk looked at them and asked, “What did you find?”  
“The planet is suitable for a longer survey. There are several non-hostile animal life forms which are active during planet’s night,” Spock explained. “Perhaps an overnight survey would prove worthwhile. I can lead the away team myself.”  
Kirk nodded. “Well I’ll defer to you on selecting the away team and Scotty can help you with the gear. What’s the climate like?”  
“During daylight hours the weather is consistently 110 degrees with zero humidity. At night however, the ambient temperature could reach as low as -10 degrees.”  
“Sounds like you’ll need the right gear.”  
“Affirmative Captain.”  
“Well I’ll see what Mr. Scott has in our inventory.” Spock followed Kirk as he exited the transporter room. “I don’t know about you but I’m ready to turn everything over to the next shift.”  
“I would be amenable to relax for the evening once I have taken the samples to the lab for testing. If you would like to preempt me and go to the commissary for dinner I will join you shortly.”  
“I’ve got to drop by engineering but I’ll be right up.”  
After a quick kiss in the privacy of the corridor Spock proceeded to the science labs while Kirk went down to engineering. Mr. Scott was hard at work on the warp drive. When he saw Captain Kirk he immediately gave him his full attention while nearby Keenser poked his head out of a vent he’d been working on.  
“Scotty, we’ve got an away team setting up a camp for an extended survey tomorrow morning. The planet swings between extreme hot and extreme cold, can you equip them?”  
Mr. Scott looked at Kirk with an amused glint in his eye. “I thought you were going to have a challenge for me. I’ve got thermal tents and portable units to keep the crew safe, healthy and comfortable in the harshest climates.”  
“We’ll need them by morning. Spock will be leading the away team.”  
“I’ll have the ensigns get on it. They’ll be ready for you as soon as you need them.” He looked at Keenser. “No, you’re staying with me. This warp drive isn’t going to fix itself.”  
“Thank you gentlemen. I’ll be in the commissary if you need me.”  
In the commissary Dr. McCoy was sitting at a table by himself and when he saw Kirk with a plate of food in he waved him over. As soon as Kirk joined him at the table he asked, “Evening Jim, where’s the pointed eared computer?”  
“Spock went to the science labs to have some samples analyzed. He’ll be down once he’s done working. How has your day been Bones?”  
“Nothing going on with the exception of a few falls in engineering and a couple of cases of food poisoning. Oh and now that I have you here you and Spock are both due for your quarterly physicals.”  
“We’ll both be down a soon as we get the chance. Good news though, once we’re done with a survey of this planet we’re ordered to head back to the alpha quadrant for a launch ceremony of twelve new starships.”  
“That’s great, I could use a non-reconstituted meal.”  
Kirk chuckled. “You and half the crew.”  
Spock arrived in the commissary and got a plate of food. He approached the table greeting with, “Good evening gentlemen.”  
“Evenin’ Spock.”  
“Hey sweetheart. How’s everything down in the lab?”  
Spock sat down at the table next to Kirk. “Activity in the lab is optimal. The samples collected by the away team are currently being analyzed and we will have the results before the survey begins tomorrow.”  
“That’s awesome. Spock, just for the record since you’re leading the away team tomorrow I think it’ll be up to you to pick your team.”  
“That is very considerate of you Jim.”  
“You’re the best first officer in the fleet. No reason not to trust your judgment.”  
As they were finishing their meal Lt. Sulu walked into the mess hall followed closely by his best friend, Pavel Chekov and Chekov’s wife Yeoman Martha Landon. Yeoman Landon was a young woman similar in age to Chekov with long blonde hair. Kirk had officiated when they had married a year earlier. Although she legally changed her last name to Chekov she used Landon professionally to avoid confusion.  
Kirk, Spock and Dr. McCoy got up to leave as the three sat down to eat. When Chekov saw the three of them he greeted, “Good evening Keptin, Mr. Spock, Doctor.”  
“Good evening Mr. Chekov, Mrs. Chekov. Mr. Sulu. Have any of you been briefed on the survey tomorrow?”  
“There’s been some talk of the planet but none of us have had a formal briefing,” the Yeoman explained.  
Spock added, “I will be leading the away team tomorrow and so I will be deciding on the team members. We will be doing an extended survey of the local fauna which is inherently nocturnal. I will require assistance with the necessary equipment since Mr. Scott is required in engineering.”  
“I can do that sir,” Chekov replied.  
“Are you qualified to repair the equipment should it malfunction?”  
“Mr. Scott trained me extensively on equipment for away missions should the time ever come he couldn’t assist.”  
“Very well. Report to engineering at 0900 tomorrow morning to assist with the equipment. We will beam down as soon as the team is ready.”  
“Thank you sir.”  
Once Spock had talked to Chekov he and Kirk went back to their quarters for a game of chess before turning in. After the game was over as he was putting the chess board away Kirk asked, “Do you think you’ll find anything interesting on the survey tomorrow.”  
“Delving into the unknown always invites the possibility of something interesting.” Spock gave him a subtle smile.  
Kirk grinned as he climbed into be alongside his mate. “You certainly have a lot of faith in Chekov.”  
“I made my decision logically. Since Mr. Scott is required for the overhaul of the warp drive I thought it necessary for him to remain in engineering. Although Lt. Chekov’s specialization is navigation he has proven himself to be a superior engineer.”  
“Logical. Now let’s get some sleep. You’ve got a long day tomorrow.”


	2. Dark Sacred Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Like always, read, rate, review!

The following morning as soon as the bridge crew had taken their seats Uhura turned to Kirk and announced, “Captain, the away team is hailing us.”

“Patch it through,” Kirk replied.

Through the com unit at his chair he heard, ‘Spock to Enterprise.'

Kirk pushed the button on his console and replied, “Kirk here.”

“Captain we conducted a preliminary overnight survey of the local animal life. We collected some fascinating data.”

“Spock, that’s tremendous. What can you tell us so far?”

“There is no evidence of hostility from any of the creatures on the planet surface. Some of the more nocturnal species even seem amenable to our presence. The climate of this planet has proven more inhospitable during the day than anticipated. We will be confined to the climate controlled tents until nightfall unless Mr. Scott can transport down the environmental suits. The local flora may prove interesting during the day.”

“Understood Mr. Spock. I’ll call down to engineering and have Scotty beam them down. If the environment is that hazardous just remain in the tents until you’ve got the environmental suits and keep the tents at a climate that will keep everyone healthy. Room temperature or better. I don’t need medical bay flooded with crewmembers with heat exhaustion.”

“Understood Captain. We will stand by and await acquisition of the suits. Spock out.”

“Kirk out.” He pushed another switch on his console. “Bridge to Mr. Scott.”

“Scott here.”

“The away team would like to do a survey of the local flora during the daytime. They’re going to need environmental suits. How soon can you equip them?”

“I can have them down on the planet surface as soon as I pull them out of inventory and inspect them. That’ll be about an hour. But you don’t have an hour so I’ll have them ready for you in twenty minutes.”

“Thank you Mr. Scott, the sooner the better. Kirk out.” He turned to Lt. M’Ress at the science console. “How are the conditions on the planet surface?”

“No sign of any tectonic or volcanic activity that would endanger our team although there is tectonic and volcanic activity on the planet. The sector our away team is currently surveying appears to be experiencing uncharacteristically hot weather compared with the rest of the land mass.”

“All right. I’ll have them hold off on a day survey in this location. Start scanning the rest of the planet for a more suitable location.” He pressed down the button. “Enterprise to Spock.”

“Spock here.”

“Scotty is going to beam down the environmental suits but I’m going to have you hold off on the daytime survey. The part of the planet you’re on right now is in the middle of a heat wave so we may move you if it doesn’t pass.”

“What will our new coordinates be?”

“I’m having Lt. M’Ress scan for a better location. Do not leave the climate controlled tents until then. Stand by for further orders. Kirk out.” He rose from his chair and approached Lt. M’Ress at the science console. “How are we doing finding a new location?”

“I’m working on it right now.”

Kirk watched Lt. M’Ress scan the planet for several minutes. Suddenly Lt. Uhura shouted, “Captain, I’m getting a message. There’s been some kind of accident on the planet surface.”

Mr. Scott’s voice came through. “Scott to bridge.”

“Kirk here.”

“Captain, there’s been some kind of accident on the planet’s surface. The away team has requested emergency medical evacuation. I’m beaming them up right now.”

Terrified, Kirk looked at the science console that lacked his mate before he turned to the front console. Sulu turned around and looked at him wide eyed and terrified.

“Scott, what kind of accident and who’s injured?” When there was no reply from the transporter room he repeated, “Somebody tell me what happened, that’s an order!”

There was still no reply but through the com he heard indistinct commotion. Kirk’s heart pounded in his chest as he managed, “Sulu take the con.” He raced down to the transporter room in time to find the medical team hustling an injured crewmember up to medical bay leaving a trail of blood behind them. Out of breath he ran into the transporter room and shouted, “Crewmen, report.”

Spock sat on a nearby bench, his uniform soaked in red blood while a medic tended to a gash on his forehead. Spock held a pressure dressing to the back of his head although he trembled badly.

As a couple of crewmen with minor injuries stepped off of the transporter panel Spock explained, “Captain, an equipment malfunction resulted in an explosion that injured several of our crewmen.”

One of the injured technicians, Stevens, continued, “The environmental control unit exploded out of nowhere. Once we’ve determined it’s safe we’re going to bring it up and try to determine why.”

“All minor injuries with the exception of the crewman closest to the explosion,” Spock added.

“Who was it?”

“Lt. Chekov.”

“Son of a bitch,” Kirk’s mind went right to Chekov’s wife who was currently somewhere in engineering and his best friend who was currently in the Captain’s chair. “I’m going back up to the bridge and I’ll be down to medical bay as soon as I can. And Mr. Scott, Mr. Keenser, as soon as you find out what caused the explosion report it to me.”

“Aye sir,” Scott replied. Keenser nodded in agreement.

As soon as he arrived back at the bridge the crew looked at him wide eyed. He looked at the bridge quickly before he calmly explained, “There was an accident on the planet surface. A piece of our equipment exploded and so far there are no fatalities but we have several injured crewmen. We don’t yet know the cause of the malfunction that resulted in the explosion but our team is working on it. Lt. Uhura, call down to Engineering and have them send Yeoman Landon to medical bay as soon as they can find her. I’ll be in medical bay.”

When he arrived in medical bay Spock sat on a biobed while Dr. M’Benga finished regenerating the gash on his forehead. Behind Spock one of the nurses regenerated a cut on the back of his head.

As soon as Spock saw Kirk he breathlessly explained, “Captain, Lt. Chekov is currently in surgery. Aside from him and myself there are only minor injuries.”

Dr. M’Benga added, “Aside from the debris that got your forehead you were knocked flat on your back hitting your head to the ground. I’m surprised you weren’t knocked out completely.”

“I was not rendered unconscious due to my Vulcan physiology.”

“Vulcan physiology or not you’re concussed so I’m ordering a full cerebral scan. I’m going to hold you for 24 hours for observation.” Dr. M’Benga reached for a hypospray and injected it into Spock’s neck. “Here’s an antibiotic so you don’t get an infection.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

He placed a telemetric wristband on Spock’s wrist before explaining, “I’m going to take care of other patients but I’ll be back shortly so I can do your scan.”

As soon as Dr. M’Benga walked away Kirk asked, “That human blood, it’s from Chekov isn’t it?”

“Affirmative. I did what I was capable of to administer first aid before the medical team arrived.”

Kirk nodded as he turned his attention to a pile of linens at the end of the bed. He took a medical bay gown from the pile of linens. “I had engineering send Yeoman Landon down here. Maybe you should change before she gets here.”

“Most logical. It would be detrimental to allow Yeoman Landon to see this.”

“Let me help you.”

Spock took a hold of Kirk’s shoulders as Kirk held him by the ribs and helped him to his feet. Spock trembled badly as Kirk helped him remove his uniform shirt and replace it with the medical bay gown.

Once Spock was sitting down Kirk asked, “Are you in any pain?”

“I have a minor headache but I was administered a pain medication that has yet to take effect.”

Kirk took Spock’s shaky hand. “I’ve never seen you this rattled before. You must have hit your head pretty hard.”

Spock nodded. “I must admit it is most disquieting. Your presence is beneficial.”

Kirk brought Spock’s hand to his face.

“You are distressed.”

Kirk nodded. “I’m worried about Chekov.”

“I am concerned for Mr. Chekov as well. Given the severity of his injuries on the planet surface I am quite amazed he was not killed outright. Also I have not been able to surmise how the environmental control unit could have exploded in such a manner.”

Kirk shook his head. “I don’t know if you saw it but there was a trail of blood from the transporter room to medical bay.”

“I did see it. Perhaps it would be beneficial for me to remind you Dr. McCoy and his staff are experts at treating traumatic injuries?”

Kirk smiled stiffly and nodded. “I remember when that Romulan bomb hit us while we were surveying that uncharted planet. You ended up riddled with shrapnel and under a wall of rock. At first we didn’t know if you were going to survive.”

“I would not have if not for Dr. McCoy and his surgical skills. I am sure he will do everything in his capabilities for Chekov.”

“You’re right.”

Just then Dr. M’Benga returned and explained, “Mr. Spock, we’re ready for you.”

Spock looked at Kirk who replied, “Don’t worry I’ll help you out.”

Kirk gently helped Spock to his feet before he shepherded him to the scanner. Noticing how shaky he was Dr. M’Benga helped Kirk to easily lay Spock back on the scanner. He explained, “Mr. Spock, I’m going to need you to hold very still.”

“Understood Doctor,” Spock replied.

After the scanner passed over Spock’s head and neck several times Dr. M’Benga explained, “Looks like you’ve got a little bit of whiplash from being thrown back. Aside from that it’s just a concussion, no swelling or bleeding. The tremors will go away as this concussion fades."

“That’s good to hear,” Kirk sighed.

“I’m going to have the nurse get a soft collar and we’ll get you back to bed. I’m going to keep you on medical leave for a week to let your neck heal.”

As soon as Spock was outfitted with a soft collar Kirk helped him back to bed. Once Spock got settled Kirk noted, “Maybe I should get you the blanket from our quarters.”

“Jim, I will only be held for one night. I believe our efforts will be better suited assisting Lt. Chekov and his wife.”

“You’re right Spock.” Kirk looked out into the medical bay to see Yeoman Landon arrive.

At first when she walked in she looked stunned and uncertain but when Dr. M’Benga saw her she followed him into his office. After a few minutes she emerged with a couple of tears streaming down her face before she sought out Kirk and Spock.

“Captain, Commander,” she greeted.

Kirk nodded, “Yeoman.”

“What happened down on the planet surface? No one explained it to me.”

“An environmental control unit exploded for reasons unknown,” Spock explained. “Chekov was closest to the unit when the explosion occurred. We attempted first aid on the scene but it was insufficient.”

A small tear fell from her eye. “How could an environmental control unit do this? Mr. Scott is always so vigilant about keeping them in optimal condition.”

“We do not know. Mr. Scott has been ordered to examine the unit and determine what caused the explosion.”

She frowned and nodded.

Kirk added, “Yeoman, if Chekov is going to be in medical bay for an extended amount of time I’ll take you off duty as long as he’s critical. I’m sure the other yeomen are willing to cover for you.”

“Thank you Captain.” Yeoman Landon looked at Spock. “Are you all right Commander?”

“The explosion projected me backwards causing my head to forcefully hit the ground which is much like sandstone on earth. Dr. M’Benga is keeping me in medical bay for observation. I am mostly uninjured.”

She nodded, “Good.”

A couple of minutes later Sulu arrived in medical bay and when he saw Yeoman Landon with Kirk and Spock he joined them. He crossed his arms across his chest and asked, “What’s going on?”

“He’s still in surgery,” Kirk explained. “We haven’t heard anything.”

Sulu frowned stiffly and nodded. The four of them stood there in tense silence eagerly awaiting some word. Roughly an hour later the lead nurse, Christine Chapel, who was still dressed in operating room scrubs approached them.

“Captain, gentlemen, Yeoman Landon,” she greeted.

“How is he?” Yeoman Landon asked tensely.

“I stepped out briefly so I could give you all an update. Lt. Chekov sustained severe and extensive internal injuries from the explosion. Both of his lungs collapsed. Several of his vital organs were damaged and several major arteries were compromised. Right now Dr. McCoy and our team are trying to remove the shrapnel but we’ve been having difficulty controlling the bleeding. Chekov has already lost a lot of blood.”

“What are the odds he’ll survive this?” Sulu asked.

“We don’t know yet. The damage was very extensive. Dr. McCoy is doing everything he can for him but Lt. Chekov is going to be in surgery for a while. I need to get back in there but as soon as we know something we’ll let you know.”

Yeoman Landon crossed her arms and held back tears as she nodded in agreement. “All right. Thank you Christine.”

The moment Nurse Chapel went back to the operating room a quiet sob escaped Yeoman Landon’s throat. Sulu immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

Kirk settled on the bed near Spock’s hip. “Yeoman, Dr. McCoy is the best surgeon in the fleet. That’s why Christopher Pike chose him for the flagship. He saved Spock when he was nearly killed by a Romulan bomb.”

She turned to Kirk and crossed her arms. She forced a stiff smile and nodded. “I remember that. Pavel told me all about it.”

“Chekov helped me pull Spock out of a pile of stone that collapsed on top of him. Then Dr. McCoy had to throw everything he had at Spock to keep him alive.”

Spock added, “I required months of physical therapy due to my injuries but otherwise I made a full recovery.”

“That’s good to know,” Yeoman Landon nodded.

“Look Martha, when Pavel comes out of that operating room he’s going to need every minute you have to give him,” Kirk explained. “Why don’t you go back to your quarters, take a shower and have something to eat. You’re going to need to take care of yourself.”

“I don’t want to leave here while he's in the operating room.”

“No problem, I’ll have one of the yeomen third class bring what you need to you. I'm sure Dr. McCoy will let you take a shower down here.” He turned to Spock. “I’m going back to our quarters to get both of us a change of clothes. I think I’m going to camp out here tonight with you.”

“Thank you ashayam,” Spock nodded. “Perhaps you would benefit from a shower as well.”

Kirk paused. “Thank you. I’ll be back guys.”

With that Kirk left so he could retrieve his and Spock’s things from their quarters. Before he returned to his quarters he went to engineering to track down Yeoman Rand. She was in the middle of taking a stack of reports from the science department to engineering when he found her.

“Yeoman Rand, do you have a minute?” Kirk asked.

Slightly shocked she replied, “Captain, there was an announcement of an accident on the planet surface. What’s going on?”

“One of the environmental units exploded. Lt. Chekov was severely injured and from what it looks like he’s going to be in medical bay for a while.”  
Yeoman Rand’s face dropped.

Kirk continued, “I’m taking Yeoman Landon off duty for as long as Chekov is critical so I’m going to need her duties covered until further notice. And if it’s not too much could you have one of the yeomen third class bring her some food and whatever personal effects she needs. I don’t want her to have to leave medical bay."

Stunned Yeoman Rand agreed. “If it’s all the same to you I’ll do it myself.”

“Terrific, thank you Yeoman. Dismissed.”

Yeoman Rand handed the reports off to a random yeoman third class she came across before she headed toward the lift with Kirk. When they got to the deck of officer’s quarters Kirk went back to his quarters and took a quick shower before he gathered a change of clothes for Spock and a blanket for himself.

When he arrived back in sickbay Spock was alone in the cubicle sitting up on the bed with his knees bent and his elbows resting on his knees. His hands were folded and he pressed his fingers to his lips.

He looked up at Kirk and explained, “Yeoman Landon got permission to take a shower in the medical bay bathroom. Sulu went to his quarters make a personal call to his husband and daughter but he intends on returning.”

“Yeoman Rand wanted to see to it personally that Yeoman Landon has what she needs while Chekov is down here.” Kirk nodded. “I got us both a change of clothes and a blanket. I’ll spend the night here with you but I’m back on the bridge in the morning.”

“Your presence in the meantime is appreciated.”

Kirk reached out and stroked Spock’s bangs. The edges of Spock’s lips curled upward at the gentle touch. “I haven’t said it yet. But I’m glad you’re all right.”

“It is fortuitous that I was uninjured however I find that the relief may be ablated by how severely Chekov was injured.”

“I know.” Kirk rubbed his face his thoughts turned to the Lieutenant currently in the operating room and he began to pace around the cubicle trying to calm himself. Spock meditated in an attempt to center himself and ablate the anxiety that plagued him over his injured crewman.

After over an hour of pacing and quick glances toward the surgical areas Kirk’s grit finally gave way to exhaustion. He sank down into a chair next to Spock’s biobed. Kirk looked up at Spock’s steepled figures and asked, “How are you doing?”

“The tremors that were secondary to the concussion have passed. I am attempting a deep meditation in an attempt to control my emotion regarding the current situation.”

“Sometimes I wish others knew what I know about you. You’re ruled by logic but you have emotions whether you let them show or not.”

“We will not be able to support Lt. Chekov or Yeoman Landon if we allow our emotions to control us at this time. If you would be amenable to it we could meld and I could assist you in meditation.”

Kirk nodded before he got up and sat on the edge of Spock’s bed. Spock raised his hands to the meld points and began, “My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”

The meld began and Kirk slipped easily into Spock’s mind. He always found peace and tranquility in Spock’s ordered thoughts. Both men suddenly became aware of everything going through each other’s mind. They felt each other’s fear and anxiety, each other’s pain, right down to the twinge in Spock’s neck from the whiplash.

As Spock brought Kirk deeper into the levels of meditation a sense of mental clarity ensued. With clarity came the ability to employ patience given the circumstances. When Spock felt Kirk had benefited from the meld he withdrew.

Kirk sat back down in the chair beside Spock’s bed and held onto his hand. The concern emanated between them but the crippling anxiety has mostly dissipated. Grasping onto their best sense of patience, they waited. Several hours passed and eventually Kirk and Spock’s resolve eventually gave way to more basic needs and both men drifted into sleep.

Both men found themselves less woken up and more like torn from sleep when Bones finally emerged from the operating room. Knowing why Dr. McCoy had woken him up he rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he asked, “Bones, what’s the word on Chekov?”

Dr. McCoy’s scrubs were rumpled badly from the hours of being covered in a surgical gown and his face had lines he didn’t have before. He sighed, “Jim, I’m amazed I even got him out of the operating room alive. He had so much debris in him you’d think a bomb did this. I can’t imagine what caused that environmental control unit to explode but I think if it can cause this much damage Starfleet command needs to know about it.”

“Bones, how is he?”

“It’s not good Jim. Chekov has extensive internal injuries. I managed to get all of the debris out of him but God, we had such a hard time controlling the bleeding. He had one piece of shrapnel that if it had been a centimeter to the left it would have struck his left ventricle and killed him outright. He flatlined twice on us. Both of his lungs collapsed from puncture wounds and then a second time from the bleeding. And don’t get me started on how much blood he lost.”

“Doctor, what is the likelihood he will make a full recovery?” Spock asked.

“Right now I’d say it’s about 50/50. Chekov is hanging in there for now. I put him in intensive care right outside my office.”

Kirk stumbled out of his chair before he helped Spock to his feet. Kirk asked, “Where’s Yeoman Landon?”

“She and Sulu are both in my office asleep. I haven’t spoken to them yet.”

“We’ll accompany you.”

Spock removed his medical bay gown and pulled his clean uniform on although his neck ached badly. When Dr. McCoy looked at him questioning he explained, “It would be undignified to address the spouse of an injured crewman in a sickbay gown.”

Dr. McCoy grumbled, “Well all right. I don’t care what you wear or when, just don’t reinjure your neck. I don’t need any more injured crewmen.”

“It is never my intention to injure myself.”

Kirk swallowed hard, “Let’s just talk to Yeoman Landon.”

Kirk drew in a deep breath composing himself and the three men exchanged tense glances before slowly walking back to Dr. McCoy’s office. In Dr. McCoy’s office Lt. Sulu sat up on a bench fast asleep with his arms folded across his chest. Yeoman Landon was fast asleep with her body leaning against Sulu.

After Kirk and Dr. McCoy said her name several times with no response Kirk reached out and gently shook her shoulder. Yeoman Landon stirred briefly before she saw the three men and her eyes went wide and she sat up ramrod straight. Lt. Sulu was awakened by her movement. His eyes went wide.

“Captain, Doctor,” she gasped.

“Yeoman,” Dr. McCoy began. “Your husband is out of surgery. Chekov’s internal injuries were very extensive and we had difficulty controlling his bleeding. We lost his pulse twice during the operation. Both of his lungs collapsed due to the shrapnel and also a second time due to the bleeding as well. We managed to remove all of the debris and regenerate burns he had from the explosion but he is still critical right now.”

“Is he going to live?” She asked.

“I can estimate his chances for survival at about 50/50. But I assure you, me and my team are going to do everything in our power to give him every chance he has.”

Her voice cracked as she replied, “All right.” Several tears streamed from her eyes but she drew in a steadying breath. Sulu was quick to place his hand on her shoulder.

“You stay can with him every second he’s in here. But I just need you to keep calm and try to talk to him.”

She nodded in understanding. As Dr. McCoy led her into intensive care Kirk and Spock trailed behind everyone else. Kirk briefly clasped Spock’s hand seeking reassurance.

As soon as Yeoman Landon laid eyes on her Chekov she balked at the grave condition he was in. A choked sob escaped her throat. Several machines kept his body functioning while above him hung what seemed like a tree of blood transfusions and other medications nobody but McCoy knew how to describe, let alone know what they were for. A medical bay sheet was pulled up to his shoulders in an attempt to cover the horror of his condition.

Chekov’s face had numerous scratches assumably from the debris from the explosion. He was unspeakably pale from the blood loss and his normally unruly curly hair was wet. Yeoman Landon gently stroked Chekov’s wet hair before her hand traveled to his face. She cupped his cheek with her hand before speaking gently in Russian. Chekov stirred at the sound of his wife’s voice. Sulu stepped up to Chekov’s other side and took one of his hands before also speaking to him in Russian.

Kirk fought the urge to frown deeply. He bit his lip before he explained, “Yeoman, I’ll give you some privacy now. You’re off duty as long as Chekov is in here.” As Kirk stepped away from Chekov and his wife he looked at Sulu and said, “When you have a minute Lieutenant.”

As soon as Sulu approached him and he was out of earshot from Chekov and Landon he whispered, “I need you on the bridge tomorrow morning. But I want you to keep an eye on both of them. You’re his best friend.”

“Understood Captain, you don’t even need to ask,” Sulu replied.

Sulu sauntered back to Chekov while Kirk and Spock went back to the cubicle Spock had been assigned to. Meanwhile Dr. McCoy trudged back to his quarters where he fell asleep as soon as he laid down on his bed.

Once they were back to Spock’s cubicle Kirk closed the curtains behind them to afford them what little privacy was available in medical bay. Kirk wrapped his arms around his husband who in turn drew him in closer.

Kirk sobbed, “This is a nightmare, Spock. This is a fucking nightmare."


	3. Fix You

Kirk stayed in medical bay with his injured mate throughout the night although Spock’s neck collar made sharing a bed out of the question. Kirk settled into one of the chairs with a blanket from his quarters and clutched the hand of his mate as they both slept.  
The following morning at 0700 ship’s time Kirk and Spock were awakened by Dr. M’Benga who insisted on doing a second cerebral scan on Spock. “It’s all for good measure,” he insisted.  
Without reluctance Kirk dragged himself out of the chair he’d been sleeping in and shepherded his husband to the scanner. Once Spock was gently stretched out on the scanner Dr. M’Benga passed the scanner over his head and neck several times before concluding, “Well you’re recovering quite well from the concussion. You still have whiplash so you’re going to have to wear the collar until that heals.”  
“Must I remain in medical bay until 1600 ship’s time when the 24 hour hold ends?” Spock asked.  
“Your vital signs have remained stable all night long but I’m going to hold you until 1600 for good measure. I’d rather not take any chances,” he explained. “Besides, your husband will be getting off duty then.”  
Spock’s eyes turned to Kirk, “Flawlessly logical.”  
Kirk helped Spock lift himself off the scanner before walking him back to his cubicle. Once Spock was back in bed and comfortable Kirk turned to Dr. M’Benga and asked, “Could you tell me where Dr. McCoy is? I’d like a word with him before I’m on duty.”  
“Dr. McCoy is probably just waking up as we speak if I know him well. If you want to follow me he could be in his office.”  
Kirk nodded before turning to Spock and quipping, “Be right back.” He followed Dr. M’Benga to Dr. McCoy’s office which proved to be empty.  
Dr. M’Benga looked around Dr. McCoy’s office and explained, “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you waiting here until he gets here.”  
Just then the bulkhead flew open and Dr. McCoy stumbled into his office grumbling to himself while clutching a cup of coffee. When he looked up and saw Kirk sitting in his office he grumbled, “Mornin’ Jim.”  
“Good morning Bones,” he replied. “Hope you’re doing all right.”  
“I’m doing as best as I can considering I’m running on empty,” he grumbled as he threw himself down behind his desk. “I’m assuming you want to know about Chekov before you have to get to the bridge.”  
“Look Bones, I know you had a rough night…”  
“Jim, you’re not asking too much. I’ve got to read the notes from the night shift and then do a full assessment on him. Why don’t you tag along?”  
“Once Mr. Scott determines why that unit exploded I’m going to prepare a report on the failure of the environmental control unit and forward it to Starfleet command. I’d like to include a report on Chekov’s injuries. They need to know what these units are capable of.”  
“I get it Jim. God, I still can’t believe what happened to him.” Dr. McCoy took the padd on his desk and went through each icon until he found what he needed. Concern flooded his eyes before he rubbed his face. “From the looks of this Chekov had a pretty rough night. The night nurse reported his vital signs dipped a couple of times but they administered epinephrine and vasopressin. Remedied that. I better have a look at him.”  
Kirk got up and followed Dr. McCoy into the medical bay. They were careful not to rouse Yeoman Landon who was asleep in the chair by Chekov’s bed still clinging to his hand. Chekov had turned his head slightly toward his wife in spite of the hindrance of the ventilator circuit.  
Dr. McCoy quickly examined the monitors before he turned his attention to the bags that hung above him. Noticing that Chekov was as pale as the night before and his vital signs were low he pulled out his tricorder and passed it over him a few times. He put the tricorder down and through the sheet he palpated Chekov’s chest and stomach. “Well he doesn’t have a bleed.”  
“What is it Bones?”  
Dr. McCoy looked up at him and nodded away from the bed. The two stepped away from the bed and away from Chekov and Landon before Dr. McCoy explained, “He isn’t bleeding internally but he’s still very hypovolemic so he’s going to need another transfusion. I’ll have Christine get on it.”  
“So how is he overall?”  
“He’s no worse and no better than he was six hours ago. The problem is his heart rate and blood pressure are being propped up by vasopressors and epinephrine and as soon as they wear off he bottoms out. Other than that his oxygen saturation is fine so the ventilator is doing its damn job.” He shook his head. “I don’t know, Jim. I’m going to do everything possible to get him on the mend but he’s a very long way from out of the woods. This could still go either way.”  
“You’re the best surgeon in the fleet, Bones, that’s why Pike picked you. Do everything you can think of.”  
“I’ll go down to Georgia and sell my soul to the God damned devil if I thought it would help.”  
“Thank you Bones. I’ve got to get to the bridge.”  
Dr. McCoy nodded. “If anything changes I’ll let you know.”  
“I’ll be back later.”  
Before he reported to the bridge Kirk went back to Spock’s cubicle and carefully hugged his husband making sure not to upset his injured neck. A clean uniform later he made his way to the bridge.  
When Kirk arrived on the bridge he was met with a crowd of wide eyes, wrung hands and terrified faces. He drew in a deep breath, “Good morning crew. I’m sure you’ve all heard by now yesterday morning there was a very serious accident on the planet surface. Mr. Spock has minor injuries and he’ll be back in commission by the end of the week. Unfortunately Lt. Chekov was severely injured. As it stands right now, Chekov is in critical condition and Dr. McCoy has informed me this could go either way. Chekov and his wife, Yeoman Landon, really need your support right now but I must also ask that you respect their privacy. Dr. McCoy or myself may inform you if anything changes but right now I need all of you at your stations.”  
Kirk took his place in the center seat. He swung his head to his right and asked Lt. M’Ress at the science console, “Lt. M’Ress, have there been any new developments on the planet surface.”  
“Geology has been able to monitor seismic activities on the planet surface,” she explained. “There is a need for further investigation into the chemistry of the planet’s crust.”  
“Get science department on it. Mr. Sulu?”  
“Orbit steady at 20,000 kilometers.”  
“Excellent. Uhura, have you been able to get into contact with Starfleet command?”  
“I sent out a message and it was received. Awaiting a response from Admiral Mendez.”  
“All right.”  
Kirk eventually made his way down to engineering to track any new developments about the accident on the planet. He assisted the team however progress was slow. After several hours spent between engineering and geology at 1600 he was relieved by the next shift.  
When he arrived back in medical bay Spock sat on the bed with his legs dangled toward the floor. Dr. M’Benga stood in front of him passing a tricorder in front of his head and neck. “So far you seem all right. Before I spring you I’d like to draw some blood.”  
Spock held out his arm and Dr. M’Benga pressed a vacuette to his vein. After the blood was drawn he disappeared into the medical bay laboratory.  
Spock turned to Kirk and greeted, “Ashayam.”  
“Hello my love. How was your day?”  
“Aside from overhearing normal activity of the sickbay my day has been mostly uneventful.”  
“How’s your neck?”  
“The pain is manageable however I am still required to wear this collar to prevent further injury.”  
Just then Yeoman Landon toddled over to Spock’s cubicle. The Starfleet active wear she wore was slightly wrinkled, her blonde hair was in a messy ponytail, and her exhaustion and anxiety were evident on her face. When Kirk saw her he gently greeted, “Good afternoon Yeoman, is everything all right?”  
“Dr. McCoy is in with Pavel right now,” she explained. “It’s routine I guess but I wouldn’t know much about medical bay procedures.”  
“Is there anything we can do for you in particular?”  
She looked at Spock. “Pavel told me that you were badly injured because of a Romulan bomb but I never heard the full story. I was thinking… Well maybe…”  
“It is of no consequence Yeoman,” Spock began. “If it will mitigate your anxiety regarding the current situation you are welcome to ask anything you wish.”  
“Could you tell me what happened from the beginning?” She asked.  
Spock began, “We were doing an away mission investigating a previously unexplored planet near the Romulan neutral zone. The planet contained life which inhabited the subterranean caverns of the planet. During our survey the Romulans became aware of our presence and attacked the planet.”  
Kirk continued, “They dropped a bomb near one of the caverns as we were trying to get to higher ground so we could beam up. Spock was adjacent to where one of their bombs landed. Not only was he riddled with shrapnel but he ended up buried under a wall of rocks. Chekov helped me to unearth his head and shoulders and once we did, we both grabbed Spock’s shoulders pulling as hard as we could until we freed him.”  
“My injuries required an operation to remove all the debris from the bomb that lasted nearly fourteen hours.”  
“Dr. McCoy later told me he didn’t think he was going to live six hours after he emerged from the operating room. He survived but he had to be transferred to a hospital that could treat Vulcans. He spent five months at Zefram Cochrane Medical Center and after that he needed extensive physical therapy. He went through traumatic injuries and systemic infections but he pulled through.”  
A smile ghosted Yeoman Landon’s lips. “How much debris did they have to pull out of you?”  
“Spock, maybe you should just show her,” Kirk suggested.  
Spock raised an eyebrow. “I recognize the impropriety of disrobing in front of a subordinate crewmember however, if it will afford you a visual perspective.” Slowly Spock reached behind his shoulder and unfastened the tie that closed his medical bay gown. He drew the gown off of his shoulders and down revealing his chest which still carried the scars from his healed wounds.  
“That’s awful,” she gasped. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”  
“Your husband is one of many people who can be credited for my survival.”  
She smiled widely as a small tear drifted down her face. Just then Dr. M’Benga returned and explained, “Spock, you blood work came back normal, so you’re free to go.”  
“Terrific,” Kirk explained.  
Yeoman Landon stepped out so Kirk could help Spock get back into his uniform. Once Spock was dressed they stepped out of the cubicle to where Yeoman Landon was waiting. When Dr. McCoy came to retrieve her they followed both of them back to intensive care.  
Yeoman Landon returned to Chekov’s side and clasped his hand with both of hers while Kirk asked, “Is there anything new Bones?”  
“Well he’s showing signs of awareness. He responds to voices and he can hold onto Martha’s hand which is a good sign. But he’s spiking a bit of a fever which tells me he has an infection somewhere,” Dr. McCoy explained. “I’m starting him on broad spectrum antibiotics and I’m waiting on a blood culture. From what I can tell it’s nothing I can’t treat.”  
“We have faith in you, Bones.” Kirk nodded. He approached Chekov’s bed taking care not to startle him. He planted one of his hands on the bed just above Chekov’s head and he laid the other hand on Chekov’s forearm. He leaned toward Chekov’s head and whispered, “Chekov, we’re all here for you and we’re all hoping you get better. I know you, you’ve got this.” Chekov stirred at the sound of his voice. Kirk smiled internally at this subtle sign of recovery.  
Yeoman Landon smiled up at Kirk. Her gaze went between him and Spock before she said, “Thank you for all your help. It’s been greatly appreciated.”  
“We got both of your backs.” He looked at Spock before concluding. “We’ll be in our quarters.”  
On their way out of the sickbay they ran into Sulu who was coming to join Yeoman Landon in the vigil they’d both started. Kirk wondered internally if Sulu was spending the night in medical with Landon and Chekov but he didn’t want to intrude by asking.  
Once they were back in their quarters Kirk helped Spock get settled on the sofa. The two men took the time to relax with some dinner and a couple of old western movies. Spock had some intermittent pain in his neck but luckily Dr. M’Benga had given him something for it.  
Throughout the evening several of their officers and fellow crewmen stopped in to check on Spock and inquire about Chekov. All the support they received and the honest concern dubiously reminded of the time Spock was nearly killed by a Romulan bomb. He smiled internally knowing that this crew really was like one big space family.  
As their evening progressed Spock needed assistance in several tasks involving his self-care. He needed a shower but his neck injury kept him from reaching up meaning Kirk had to bathe him. Kirk would have otherwise enjoyed such a task but his mind was preoccupied with the Lieutenant down in sickbay.  
After both men were dressed in their pajamas Spock settled into bed easily but Kirk was reluctant. When Spock noticed his reluctance he asked, “What is wrong?”  
“Spock, I’d like to check in on Landon and Chekov before I hit the hay.”  
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps you should. It would prove beneficial to your peace of mind and beneficial to Landon and Chekov as well.”  
Kirk nodded in agreement before he pulled his robe on over his pajamas. Not caring if he was seen in his pajamas he made his way down to medical bay for one last visit that evening.  
In the medical bay he found Sulu still vigilant by the side of his comrade. Yeoman Landon, still clad in her active wear stood stretching while Yeoman Rand stood beside her. The three of them were having a conversation until they saw Kirk.  
“Captain,” Yeoman Rand greeted.  
“Hey guys,” he replied. “I just wanted to check in one more time before bed.”  
Yeoman Landon nodded. “Dr. McCoy hasn’t had much to say except that not much has changed. We were just settling in for the night.”  
Yeoman Rand looked at Kirk and explained, “I’m making it my personal mission to make sure she’s cared for.”  
“Thank you Janice,” Kirk replied.  
Yeoman Landon bent over and pressed a long kiss into Chekov’s face which he noticeably leaned into. She pressed her cheek to his and whispered in his ear in Russian before she settled back in the chair. She laid her head next to his and absently caressed the skin on his exposed shoulder.  
Yeoman Rand reached out and stroked Landon’s blonde hair before she said, “We all love you both and we’re looking forward to seeing him better. But I’m here and I’ll be taking care of you.”  
Kirk added, “If you need anything from me or Spock. Anything you need, we’re here.”  
“Thank you Captain,” she whispered as she seemingly drifted into sleep.  
Kirk made his way back to his and Spock’s quarters. By the time he got back Spock was already asleep partially thanks to his pain medication. Kirk carefully slipped into bed next to him making sure not to wake him before following him into sleep.  
In the early hours of the morning the com whistle awakened Kirk. He stumbled out of bed and to the unit before replying, “Kirk here.”  
The random duty officer explained, “Captain, we’ve been informed that a code was called down in the medical bay.”  
Kirk didn’t await any further explanation he just began running as fast as his legs would carry him. His heart pounded and his lungs burned but he kept on. When he arrived at the medical bay he stopped before going in. One of the nurses saw him and he wheezed, “Let Dr. McCoy know I’m here first chance you get.”  
She nodded in agreement before disappearing back into the medical bay. Kirk could have occupied Dr. McCoy’s office but instead he opted to remain in the corridor. Sweat poured down his body as he tried in vain to catch his breath.  
Once the adrenaline had passed he found himself silently pacing the corridor outside medical bay for what turned into two hours. Dr. McCoy finally emerged looking like he’d been face to face with the devil.  
Exhausted, Kirk croaked, “Bones.”  
“Captain,” Boned gasped. “I think Chekov threw an embolism. It makes sense that it would happen given the nature of his injuries. It could have ended up in his heart or his lungs…”  
“Is he going to be all right?”  
“Jim, we’ve lost him.”


	4. Authors note

Hello there to everyone on ks archive and Ao3!  
Well I'm new to authors notes so here I am. I think it's high time I started explaining myself so here goes.  
I'm sure everyone who came across my most recent fiction is wondering how on earth I came up with that title. Well here goes.  
All of the titles I've used so far have been reused song titles. I never planned it that way but I often find that I can so easily write fiction but coming up with a title escapes me. I have No. Idea. Why. For real! My only hindrance writing fiction, especially what I've put on the archive is I can't type as fast as I can think. For whatever reason I can't think of decent titles. (Believe me I'm also concerned about what's going to happen when my first baby comes.)  
So do my titles really match my works? Love Reign O’er Me? Not really. Wish You Were Here? Nailed it! I'll See You In My Dreams? Sort of I guess.  
So how did the work you're reading now end up with the title “What A Wonderful World?” Here's how:  
In addition to being a musician I'm also a healthcare allied professional. In my particular field the patients I deal with are people who are getting on in years and are in the final stages of a chronic illness they’ve had for as long as fifteen years. So part of my role is to ease them gently into that good night. For my coworkers and myself seeing people we've come to know so well die is never easy. But we do cope and move past it. Many people in our field have little rituals they follow every time they lose a patient. As for my good friends and I, we developed a habit of singing the Jeff Buckley cover of Hallelujah in the car on the way home or in our department during our breaks. But quickly we realized this song was only making us sadder than we already were and no wiser. So I reasoned that if music galvanized us we should use a song that was hopeful but not upbeat to the point of callousness given the circumstances. That song, we decided, was Louie Armstrong’s What A Wonderful World.  
We were all at work when we found out via a patient’s television that Anton Yelchin had been killed. All of us were stunned and devastated. He was young, healthy, and had a promising career ahead of him. Although death was part of our landscape we were unprepared. The people we deal with are old, sick and have lived their life. But still, during the drive home we did sing “What A Wonderful World” in memory of Anton Yelchin, yet his death has proven harder to come to terms with. I'm grieved beyond measure for his parents who lost their only child on Father’s Day, and I'm grieved beyond measure for the friends and family he left behind. Best of all for the friends who had to find him like that.  
Our dear departed Leonard Nimoy wrote a book about his life leading up to being cast as Mr Spock and how his life experiences and acting sensibilities helped him to build a character like Spock. It was an interesting read however Nimoy spent the rest of his life explaining what he meant by what he said in the aforementioned book. He never said anything negative about Spock or Star Trek in the book but people did feel alienated by it. The reason was all in the title of the book; “I Am Not Spock.”  
Nimoy was right and people can get the wrong idea and draw the wrong conclusions about a piece of work fiction just by the title. And that's a mistake I feel I've made with my most recent fiction. Although I personally find the song What A Wonderful World and its title inspiring and it does help me move past difficulties I genuinely feel it was a mistake naming this fiction after that song. Looking at it objectively it seems cynical, sardonic and slightly sarcastic which was never my intention. I definitely will finish this piece by the end of the week but I think a change of a title is necessary.  
I'm open to any thoughts on what I've just said or any friendly suggestions or constructive criticisms. Hope you all stick around to the end of this piece. I HAVE cried while writing it.  
See you soon!  
LLAP!  
<3 Moxie


	5. And I Think To Myself

Barely three hours had passed since Kirk stood in the corridor outside medical bay with Dr. McCoy. Having barely slept, Kirk stood in the shower in his quarters. He turned the water to a near boiling as the steam enveloped him. He felt completely numb to everything except the heat from the water.  
When Kirk finally emerged from the bathroom his uniform was slightly damp from the steam. Spock knelt in the corner in his meditative pose. He raised his head, meeting eyes with Kirk. “Jim,” he whispered. “Is there any way I can be of assistance to you?”  
“I just want to get this over with. I don’t think there’s any way I’m going to feel better any time soon.”  
“I understand. I believe it would be beneficial for you to return to our quarters once your shift has ended. You are clearly exhausted from the events of last night and grieved for the loss of Lt. Chekov.”  
Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose trying to sublimate some of his exhaustion. “Logical as always Spock.”  
“Have you inquired about Yeoman Landon?”  
“She’s still in medical bay with her husband. Sulu will escort her back to her quarters when she’s ready but I’ve ordered them not to rush her. Needless to say she’s absolutely devastated.” A tear welled up in Kirk’s eye and trailed down his face.  
Spock nodded in understanding before he raised himself to his feet. He took one of Kirk’s hands and suggested, “Perhaps we should go to the conference room. I surmise further delay will only exacerbate your grief.”  
Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock who in turn pulled him in tighter. Afterward both men slowly made their way to one of the smaller of the Enterprise’s conference rooms. All of the higher officers had been ordered to report there before taking their post for the day. Outside the conference room Dr. McCoy stood awaiting Kirk and Spock with his arms folded across his chest. A look of consternation on his face.  
“Captain,” Dr. McCoy greeted.  
“Bones, how is Yeoman Landon?”  
“She’s completely despondent.”  
The three men looked at each other before Kirk agreed, “Let’s do this.” Before he entered Kirk steeled himself so he wouldn’t alarm the crew.  
Uhura and Mr. Scott looked at them with muted apprehension while Keenser just leered at them suspiciously. Noticeably absent from the crowd was Mr. Sulu who remained in medical bay with his late best friend and his widow.  
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began. “As you all know, two days ago Lt. Pavel Chekov was severely injured during an away mission. At 01:30 this morning a code was called on him however by 03:30 hours in spite of Dr. McCoy’s best efforts they were unable to restore his pulse. At 03:40 Lt. Chekov was pronounced dead.”  
Almost immediately Uhura’s eyes filled up with tears and she covered her face with her hand. Mr. Scott’s face dropped while next to him Keenser lowered his eyes to the ground before lowering his head. Throughout the room sobs, sniffles and the budding sound of soft crying relayed the crew’s grief.  
Kirk continued, “I know this is devastating news. I must ask that you keep Chekov’s parents and his wife Yeoman Landon in your thoughts. What just happened is unthinkable for them and they are going to need all the support they can get. Admiral Mendez has approved for him to be interred at Starfleet International Cemetery. We’ve been ordered back to earth and should be there in a week. Dismissed.”  
As soon as the crowd dispersed everyone reported to their respective posts. When Kirk arrived at the bridge the unfamiliar voice of a temporary duty officer announced his arrival. He drew in a deep breath and took his chair.  
“Lt. Hadley,” he began. “Plot a course to earth.”  
“Aye sir,” he replied.  
Although they went about their work as consummately professional as they could the distress between the officers was palpable. The bridge was a sea of long faces, hushed voices and subdued activity. Nobody even looked at the navigation console or the temp officer in it if they didn’t have to.  
It wasn’t until 14:00 when Mr. Scott’s voice came through the intercom. “Scott to bridge.”  
Kirk pressed the button. “Kirk here.”  
“Captain, I think I may have found out what we’ve been looking for,” he explained.  
Kirk took a deep breath, “I’ll be right down.” He rose from his chair and headed for the turbolift as he said, “I’ll be in engineering. Spock, you have the con.”  
When Kirk got down to engineering he found Mr. Scott and Keenser in one of the adjacent laboratories. Over several expansive tables sat the exploded environmental unit along with dozens of pieces of debris that had been projected from it.  
Mr. Scott explained, “Captain, I may have discovered what caused the unit to explode.”  
“Lay it on me Scotty.”  
Mr. Scott led him to another table where a pestle sat below a ceiling filthy with smoke stains. Keenser stood on the laboratory stool next to the table. Mr. Scott explained, “The soil on the planet contains an element that when combined with the coolant from the unit becomes a volatile compound. Add even a little bit of moisture to that compound and it explodes.”  
“We knew the coolant doesn’t mix well with a lot of things but don’t the units have filters to keep things like soil out of their machinery?” Kirk asked.  
“That’s the other thing.” Mr. Scott led him to another table. Keenser climbed onto the table and picked up a small torn filter before Mr. Scott continued, “That unit was working overtime due to the heat wave on the planet. It was taking in more than its share and wouldn’t you know it, it was the one unit with the one faulty filter that couldn’t take the demands of the intake valve.”  
“God,” Kirk gasped. “All because of one faulty intake filter.”  
“I’ve forwarded my report to you and to Starfleet command. Who knows how many defective filters there are on how many starships. I going to have to inspect every filter by hand.”  
“Congratulations Mr. Scott you’ve fixed the kennel door after the dogs have come home.”  
“He was trying to service the unit when it exploded. Captain, if I had…”  
“Mr. Scott, what happened to Chekov is not your fault. None of it.” He slowly walked through the lab looking over the ruptured unit and the pieces that came off of it. When he came across over a table full of pieces with dry blood stains he turned away. “I’ll be on the bridge.”  
As soon as the second shift relieved them of duty Kirk and Spock returned to their shared quarters. While Spock took his time to catch up on some reading Kirk sat at his desk. A pit formed in his stomach.  
Spock gazed up at his from his novel. “Is there any way I can be of assistance Ashayam?”  
“I’m so sorry Spock,” Kirk began. “I just realized that once we get back to earth I’m going to have to face Chekov’s parents. Not to mention I have to eulogize him.”  
“Jim, you are still exhausted and devastated from the events of this morning. Perhaps you should wait until you are better rested and the state of shock has worn off.” Spock put his novel down and approached his mate. He gently stroked Kirk’s shoulders before he bent down allowing his arms to envelope him.  
Kirk reached up and stroked Spock’s arms. “I haven’t asked how you’ve been doing with this whole situation.”  
“My injuries have healed quite well,” Spock explained. “Though I find myself having feelings of loss and devastation over the loss of Lt. Chekov. He was the youngest person ever to serve as an officer on a starship, the youngest ever promoted to Lieutenant. If not for the accident on the planet I believe he would have surpassed you as youngest starship captain.”  
Kirk nodded. “I know. He probably would have.”  
“I contacted my father to relay to him what has happened. He expressed deep regret. If not for Lt. Chekov the Vulcan High Council would not have survived the destruction of Vulcan. I do believe Lt. Chekov tried everything he could to save my mother.”  
“I’ll never forget his voice yelling ‘I can do that! I can do that!’ As he ran to the transporter room.”  
“Have you inquired about the well-being of Yeoman Landon?”  
“Bones told me she was still in medical bay with Chekov as of this morning. They’re letting her take her time.” Kirk shook his head before he got up to pace. “Scotty said it was a defective intake filter that caused the explosion. All the danger we face in what we do and he was killed by a defective filter.”  
Spock suppressed the urge to calculate odds. He looked upon his mate, concerned. As Kirk paced the room Spock sat down at the head of their bed. Before long Kirk threw himself down on the bed next to Spock. He laid his head on Spock’s shoulder before he broke down and cried. Unable to control or sublimate his emotions regarding this recent tragedy Spock broke down and cried with him.  
Later on in the evening Kirk and Spock left their quarters in favor of a brief visit to the officer’s quarters. When they arrived Mr. Scott and Keenser sat alone at a pair of upholstered chairs with a large bottle of Scotch Whiskey on a coffee table in front of them. Both men sipped their whiskey in silence.  
Mr. Scott looked up at Keenser and said, “I don’t suppose that does anything for you does it? I think you’re like me. You appreciate the flavor.”  
When Kirk and Spock walked in Kirk greeted, “Evening gentlemen.”  
Mr. Scott and Keenser both looked up. Mr. Scott mumbled, “Evening, Cap’n. Mr. Spock.”  
Spock took a seat with Mr. Scott and Keenser. Since the bartender was absent Kirk retrieved a bottle of Saurian Brandy and some glasses. When he sat down with the three other men he greeted, “Good evening gentlemen.”  
“I know you like the brandy, Cap’n, but could I interest you in some scotch?” Mr. Scott offered.  
“I’d love some,” he replied. Mr. Scott took Kirk’s glass and poured him some whiskey. Meanwhile Spock poured himself a glass of brandy.  
Mr. Scott noted, “I didn’t think you drink Mr. Spock.”  
“I do enjoy the flavor although my father’s species was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol,” Spock explained.  
The four sipped their drinks in tense silence until Kirk broke the silence with, “Mr. Scott, how have you been doing with the filters?”  
“Keenser and I inspected each and every filter by hand,” Mr. Scott explained. “I found twelve defective filters. The Chief Engineer from the U.S.S. Bradbury found 35 defective filters while the Farragut had six.”  
Kirk shook his head. “We need to send a message to the manufacturer.”  
“All ready took care of it sir.” Mr. Scott took a swig of his whiskey. “If I had been on that planet dealing with those units it would have been me instead.”  
“You would have been killed outright.”  
“Should have been, I’m a lot older than Chekov and I’ve lived my life. He was 24 years old and he was his parents’ only child.”  
Just then the bulkhead slipped open and Sulu quietly stepped in. His eyes were red and slightly swollen with dark circles showing his exhaustion. His hair was slightly messy and his uniform was unkempt like he’d slept in it.  
Kirk watched as Sulu crossed the room and joined them. Mr. Scott was the first to gasp, “Sulu.”  
Kirk did his best to employ his captain in control voice and asked, “Mr. Sulu, how are you?”  
“My best friend just died. I’ve been better,” Sulu explained. “I walked Yeoman Landon back to her quarters before I came here. She’s been awake all night so she’s exhausted. Yeoman Rand is with her.”  
“I appreciate you being supportive of both of them throughout this whole ordeal,” Kirk nodded. “Sulu, I know you and Chekov were close and I’m so sorry.”  
“I can’t wrap my head around it. Chekov was 24 years old, he got married a year ago, and he was killed by an environmental unit. It’s unconscionable that we’re going to have to start talking about him in the past tense.”  
“Sulu, I know you’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster ride these past couple of days and if you need to take some time for bereavement.”  
“Thank you Captain. I would request relief for tomorrow but I’ll be back on the bridge the following day.”  
“I’ll get one of the ensigns to cover it.”  
Keenser tugged on Mr. Scott’s shirt sleeve. Mr. Scott watched Keenser pantomime something to him. Mr. Scott asked, “Sulu, have you spoken to your family?”  
Sulu nodded, “I called my husband and my daughter to let them know. They’re both devastated and now Demora is terrified that something is going to happen to me. Pavel was her Godfather so she was very attached to him and she’s five years old so she’s never lost anyone before. I think she just got an understanding of what it means when someone dies.”  
“Would you like some Scotch Whiskey or a glass of brandy?” Mr. Scott offered.  
“Brandy please,” Sulu replied before Mr. Scott poured him a glass and handed it to him.  
The door slid open again and the haggard and exhausted Chief Medical Officer stepped in. Kirk looked up at Dr. McCoy and asked, “How’d you know we were here?”  
“I had the ship’s computer locate you, how else?” Dr. McCoy replied. His voice was hoarser than anyone had heard before. He flopped down in a chair with the rest of the assembled officers. Without even having to ask Mr. Scott poured him a glass of brandy. He took the glass and swirled the brandy in the grass while he rubbed his forehead.  
“How are you Bones?”  
He drawled hoarsely, “Well this morning I spent two hours doing CPR on a 24 year old who didn’t make it. Other than that I feel like shit.”  
“We know you tried Doctor,” Sulu replied.  
Dr. McCoy shook his head and raised his hand in frustration. “It took me almost twelve hours to get all the debris out of him. I had to replace his blood volume twice over. I’m amazed he came out of the operating room alive.”  
Spock cut in, “Your surgical skills are above average. Had he been operated on by a surgeon from another ship he would not have survived the operation.”  
“Fat lot of good that did him,” Dr. McCoy replied. “He was hanging by a thread and then an embolism finished him off.”  
Mr. Scott sobbed, “I shouldn’t have let him go down onto the planet. It would have been me. It should have been.”  
“I suggest we do not belabor the questions of how the death of Chekov could have been prevented or avoided,” Spock cut in. “The matter has been rendered academic.”  
“You’re right Spock,” Kirk agreed. “We’ve got enough to deal with given. I have to explain to his parents that their only child was killed by a faulty piece of equipment. I could do without laying blame or painstakingly going through the ‘if onlys.’”  
“Demora is our only child,” Sulu added. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her. We could have a second child but with me being gone I’m not sure it’d be a good idea.”  
“Raising one child on your own is tough,” Dr. McCoy added. “Raising two would be worse so maybe you’re right to hold off on a second child.”  
“My Mom stayed in Starfleet after my father died on the Kelvin,” Kirk explained. “My stepfather raised my brother and me which was bullshit. But that’s a part of taking an assignment on a starship. You don’t see your family for months into years.”  
“I don’t have any children and at this age I doubt I will,” Mr. Scott added. “The only family I’ve got is my sister in Aberdeen. She has three daughters and a son. Her youngest, Peter, is seven months and I’ve never been in the same room as him. Her husband left after she had him. I could have been his father figure.”  
Sulu looked at McCoy. “You have a daughter don’t you?”  
“Yeah I’ve got one daughter, Joanna. It’s been years since I laid eyes on her and thanks to my ex-wife Joanna wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire. Then I signed up for Starfleet because I felt like I had nothing left to lose. Wouldn’t matter if I were killed in space? At least the ensigns might miss me.”  
“Bones,” Kirk sobbed.  
“It’s all right. Even if I never see her or hear from her again which chances are I won’t I don’t ever want to be told she’s gone.”  
Kirk reached out and patted Dr. McCoy’s shoulder before he finished his scotch.  
“Jim, have you thought about what you’re going to say at his funeral?” Dr. McCoy asked.  
He shook his head. “I don’t know. What the hell am I supposed to say about the youngest person ever made a lieutenant who was killed in a freak accident? He was 24 years old and he should be alive. If he’d been killed in combat at least he’d have gone down swinging, gone down for what he believed in.” He turned to Sulu. “What about you? Are you going to say anything?”  
His eyes welled up with tears. “I really should. He was the greatest friend I could have asked for. My husband and I loved him and Demora adored him. We were each other’s best men at each other’s weddings and he was my daughter’s godfather. The last time we were home Pavel and Martha came to see us and she jumped right into his arms the second she saw him.”  
“When we got assigned to the Enterprise I had a lot of apprehension about having a 17 year old on the bridge,” Dr. McCoy explained. “But now that someone who isn’t Chekov is there I don’t feel as safe as I did before. He made a fine science officer when Spock was out of commission.”  
“That he did. Although he was a little reluctant when I told him to get into the science chair. Maybe because he felt bad about Spock being hurt,” Kirk added. “God, I can still hear his voice in my head when he darted to the transporter room during the destruction of Vulcan. I’ll never forget his voice shouting ‘I can do zat! I can do zat!’ while he ran to the transporter room.”  
Everyone smiled except for Spock who simply raised an eyebrow.  
Sulu went back to the bar where he retrieved another bottle of wine and a padd that had been abandoned. When he sat back down he turned the padd on before logging in as himself. “I don’t think any of you have ever seen this. It was Demora’s first Christmas.”  
Sulu held the padd where everyone could see it revealing a picture of Chekov asleep on the sofa with an infant Demora cuddled to his chest. He wore a button down shirt with a sweater while Demora had a little dress on. Demora was asleep with her head on Chekov’s chest while her tiny fist gripped his sweater.  
Kirk choked up. “Look at them.”  
“He fell asleep like that and they looked so peaceful my husband slipped a blanket over them and turned all the lights off except for the tree.” He smiled. “When we got up the next morning he was already up and in the kitchen feeding her.”  
“She must have had him up all night,” Kirk added.  
“Pavel said she woke up once during the night and her movement woke him. But all she did was look up at him and adjust herself so her head was in the middle of his chest. She laid her head right back down on him and he stroked her hair while she went right back to sleep.”  
“That’s amazing, Sulu. Thanks for sharing that,” Kirk sniffled.  
Mr. Scott opened his bottle of Scotch and poured some in all the empty glasses. Afterward they all raised their glasses up as Mr. Scott sighed, “To Pavel Chekov, you were a tremendous friend and a brilliant officer. Wish it could have lasted longer.”


	6. Skies of Blue, Clouds of White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team arrives back on earth for the funeral of their beloved comrade.

Two days later Captain Kirk took his chair on the bridge. The crew began the one week trip to earth so they could bury their dead. On the bridge Chekov’s absence was deafening. The bridge crew didn’t even interact with Kevin Riley, the lieutenant assigned to navigation, if they didn’t have to.

Kirk began the difficult task of having to write a eulogy for the youngest Lieutenant to die in the line of service. He had lost crewmen before but never that young, never that promising, and of course, never in a freak accident.

One evening while at a total loss for words Kirk realized he hadn’t seen Yeoman Landon since Chekov had passed away. Believing it would be a good idea to check on her he clicked on the ship’s computer and commanded, “Computer, location of Yeoman Landon.”

The computer read back, “Botany, hydroponics garden, back bay.”

Without wasting a moment Kirk got up and quickly jogged to the botany garden. The back bay was a remote part of the garden where few of the botanists frequented. When he arrived he walked quietly and slowly so he wouldn’t startle the Yeoman once he ran into her.

Kirk found Yeoman Landon in a remote corner of the back bay. She was sitting on a bench idly staring at a couple of the plants. Gently he began, “Yeoman.”

“Captain,” she gasped. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s all right Yeoman. I came down because I thought I would check on you. How have you been?”

She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. “I miss him. I didn’t even have that much time with him and now he’s gone. I know being in the service carries a lot of danger but I never expected it to happen on a routine mission because of faulty equipment.”

Kirk looked down and nodded.

“It just makes no sense. He should be alive right now.”

Kirk’s eyes filled with tears. He nodded, “I agree, he should be.”

“It’s such bullshit. How hard he worked at the academy and on the ship so a faulty piece of equipment could kill him. If he were alive what else would he have been? What could he, what should he have been?”

“I’m loathe to imagine he would have surpassed me as youngest starship captain. Pavel Chekov was one of the finest officers I’ve had the privilege of working with and a tremendous friend and it’s hard to take that he’s gone. Martha, I am so sorry. I try not to even think of what this is doing to you.”

“I’m just not ready. I’m not ready to bury him.”

As Yeoman Landon broke down and cried Kirk put his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. She buried her face in Kirk’s shoulder and cried. Pondering the loss of his good friend Kirk shed several tears himself.

After Yeoman Landon calmed down she decided to go back to her quarters. Kirk decided to walk her back. As he left her at her door she mumbled, “Maybe I should start using the name Chekov since there won’t be any confusion anymore.”

“It’s up to you. If you want to use the name Chekov let me know and I’ll change it in your record,” Kirk explained. “If you need anything at all let us know. The crew has your back and I’m sure Yeoman Rand is worried about you.”

“Thank you Captain,” she sniffled. “I’ll be all right for now.”

After Yeoman Landon disappeared into her quarters Kirk slowly made his way back to the quarters he shared with Spock. His mind wandered to the prospect of losing Spock before his time. With the unknowns they faced there was always the real possibility of losing someone with no warning.

In their shared quarters Spock sat in meditation in the corner of the bedroom. A black Vulcan tunic Kirk recognized from elsewhere adorned his shoulders and he sat with his head bowed and fingers steepled. When he heard Kirk his head rose.

“You are distressed,” Spock noted.

Kirk sat down on the end of his bed. “You’ve been meditating a lot lately. You only do that to sublimate emotions you can’t control easily.”

“Indeed.” Spock nodded. “The death of Lt. Chekov has caused me great distress. I am grieved, for the loss. His intelligence, skill and fortitude are rather rare in people his age. The loss is only exacerbated by the fact that he was his parents’ only child and he was a newly wed. His wife had exactly 1.09 years with him.”

“Me too Spock.” He looked Spock over top to bottom. “I just saw Yeoman Landon.”

“In what condition is she in?”

“She’s devastated of course. Like the rest of us she can’t seem to make sense of this.”

“I surmise there is no sense to be made of this. This may be as human refer it, a ‘senseless tragedy.’”

“Maybe you’re right.” Kirk shrugged off his tunic and removed his boots. “Why don’t you come to bed?”

Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Logical. I have exhausted myself during meditation. However I require a shower.”

As Spock stood up Kirk looked over the Vulcan tunic he was wearing. Spock carefully removed the tunic before hanging it in their closet. He disappeared into the bathroom for a shower while Kirk readied   
himself for bed.

Once Kirk settled into bed Spock stepped out of the bathroom and wrapped himself in a sleeping robe. As soon as Spock settled into the bed next to him Kirk wrapped himself tightly around him. As he drifted into sleep he murmured, “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.”

***  
The day the U.S.S. Enterprise arrived on Earth she was manned by a subdued and listless crew. She was piloted into Spacedock before the crew could disembark for San Francisco.

Before he could leave the ship Captain Kirk padded down to medical bay. He found Dr. McCoy in his office commiserating over medical bay paperwork. In his office were a couple of Ensigns from Starfleet headquarters awaiting orders. When Kirk walked in he looked up and grumbled, “Morning Jim.”

“Good morning Bones,” he replied. “Do you have the paperwork ready?”

“I’ve got it all ready.” Dr. McCoy got up and led Kirk to the back of the medical bay while the ensigns followed. In the empty back bay on one of the exam tables was the lost Lieutenant, enveloped in a body bag.

With reluctance Kirk unfastened the top of the closure and peeled the bag back enough to reveal Chekov’s lifeless face. He closed his eyes and frowned before he folded the bag back into place. When he turned to Dr. McCoy he was handed a padd. He signed the paperwork stating he’d positively identified his fallen comrade before handing it back to Dr. McCoy.

Dr. McCoy handed the ensigns the paperwork before stating, “You can take him.”

“Come on Bones, lets go,” Kirk muttered.

Dr. McCoy grabbed his travel bag from his office before following Kirk to the transporter room. In passing Dr. McCoy asked, “Have you finished your eulogy yet?”

“I’ve got nothing. I was thinking since we’re on Earth I might visit the park outside headquarters and clear my head. Being on Earth’s soil always helps.”

“I always look forward to coming to Earth but I’d rather spend the rest of my life in space than have to come back to bury a comrade.”

“I have to face Chekov’s parents. I’m not looking forward to it but they deserve to hear from me.”

“That they do. They raised a fine young man and it’s a shame to see him gone. I’d trade places with Chekov any day. No one but all of you to miss me.”

“Why do we even do this Bones? If men were meant to fly we’d have wings.”

When they arrived in the transporter room the rest of the senior officers were already waiting. Spock nodded and greeted, “Jim, Doctor. We are prepared to beam down whenever you are.”

“Thank you Spock.” Kirk turned to Sulu and asked, “How’s your family?”

“I talked to Ben last night. Since he and Demora got the word Demora has been sleeping in his bed and won’t leave. It’s not like her.”

Kirk frowned and shook his head. “Let’s go bury our dead.”

All of the officers took their places on the transporter panel. Lt. Kyle beamed them down to the transit station at Starfleet headquarters. The transit station was huge and had docking stations for shuttlecrafts as well as docking for planet side air shuttles.

As soon as they stepped off the transporter panel into the huge terminal Kirk spotted Ben and Demora Sulu waiting patiently. Both had their eyes fixed on the transporter panel. As soon as Demora spotted Sulu she ran to him and launched herself into his arms. She burst into tears as soon as she saw him. Sulu hugged her tightly before approaching Ben for a kiss.

Kirk’s concentration was broken when Sarek approached him, Dr. McCoy and Spock. Sarek immediately arranged his fingers in the tradition Vulcan greeting. Behind him trailed two members of the Vulcan High Council.

“Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, my son,” Sarek greeted. The two members of the Vulcan High Council each made the customary greeting.

“Father,” Spock greeted. “For what circumstances have you come to Earth.”

“The councilmen and myself came to attend Lt. Chekov’s funeral,” Sarek explained. “His efforts with the transporter during the destruction of Vulcan resulted in the survival of the Vulcan High Council. Lt. Chekov is a protector and keeper of Vulcan, he deserves our greatest respect and our highest gratitude.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “He was a superior officer. His loss is most detrimental.”

“The federation has lost a superior and brilliant mind. We will attend his service but we will return to New Vulcan afterward.” Sarek turned to Kirk. “James, if I am not imposing; I would like privacy with Spock. It is a rare occasion I have one on one time with my only son.”

Kirk smiled and nodded in agreement. “I understand Sarek. Take all the time you need. I’ll get us settled in our hotel room while you’re out.”

Spock nodded. “Perhaps it will give you some time to work on your eulogy.”

“Yeah, I should work on that.”

Spock walked away with his father and the two Vulcan elders leaving Kirk and Dr. McCoy in the transit station. Once they faded from view Dr. McCoy turned to Kirk and asked, “You plan on seeing anyone while you’re here?”

“Afraid not Bones,” Kirk replied. The two men watched as the crewmembers who were attending the service were one by one reunited with their families. “My mother is on Deneva visiting my brother and his family. They just had their third son. What about you.”

“Nah, I’ve got no one. There’s no one walking this Earth who wants anything to do with me. Both my parents are dead so I guess I’ll visit their graves. I could jump the transit to…” Dr. McCoy trailed off as the crowd dissipated and behind the crowd stood a young teenage girl with blue eyes and blonde hair. Dr. McCoy’s face dropped and his eyes filled with tears at the sight of her. Mouth agape he gasped, “Joanna.”  
When she spotted Dr. McCoy she immediately ran to him and both wrapped their arms around each other. Dr. McCoy broke down and sobbed, “I’ve missed you.”


	7. Trees of Green, Red Roses Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it took me this long to update this but I've been SOOO busy with school. The next chapter is already written so I won't keep you waiting very long. As always, read, rate, review.

While Spock met with his father and the Vulcan High Council Kirk sought refuge in the hotel room he’d rented for the two of them. It was a small room with desk and armchair at the foot of the bed. After a couple of drinks he sat at the desk provided and tried to write a eulogy for the youngest officer ever to serve aboard a starship.

Intoxicated and depressed Kirk sat at the desk, stylus in his right hand and a bottle of whiskey in the left, he hung his head. Thoughts of his lost Lieutenant, his young widow, and the freak accident that cost him his life haunted him. He pinched the bridge of his nose as a few tears escaped him.

Kirk dug deeply in his mind trying to write a eulogy for an officer who’d died a meaningless death. His reverie was broken when there was a knock at the door. Kirk drew in a deep breath, steeled himself and answered the door.

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek noted as he held his hand in the traditional gesture. Kirk stepped aside as Sarek stepped into the room. Sarek continued, “My son is in the botanical garden attempting a deep meditative state in an attempt to control his emotions. I thought it would be productive to inquire about the state you are currently in.”

“Thank you sir,” Kirk replied as he gestured toward a padded armchair in the corner of the room. “Won’t you sit down? Can I get you anything?”

“If I may have a glass of water that would be appreciated.” Sarek regarded the room before settling in the chair offered. As Kirk settled on the edge of the bed and faced him he continued, “I can plainly see you are in difficulty due to the loss of your officer.”

Kirk nodded. “It hasn’t been easy. He was the youngest person to rise to the rank of officer on a starship and I’m loathe to imagine he would have surpassed me as youngest captain. I have to write a eulogy for him and I have to face his parents. Not to mention what the hell am I supposed to say since he was killed in a freak accident?”

Sarek glanced distastefully at the bottle of whiskey before reaching over and picking it up off the desk. “I believe consumption of an intoxicating substance was counterproductive.”

Kirk nodded. “You’re right. It’s just…”

“You do not need to explain your actions to me. I understand you are in difficulty due to the loss of Lieutenant Chekov. I had hoped I could be of some assistance. My experience with humans has taught me that they often cope with negative emotions by talking about them.”

Kirk drew in a deep breath. “It’s not just Chekov dying that’s getting to me. He was one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever worked with and it was a freak accident that killed him.”

Sarek nodded. “My son explained the failure of the environmental unit to me. It was most unfortunate the soil on the planet surface produced such effects.”

“The intake valve on the environmental unit had a defective filter. Otherwise none of this would have happened. Go figure he was trying to service the one environmental control unit with the one faulty filter on a planet whose soil explodes when mixed with coolant. Mr. Scott found twelve defective filters in our inventory. The Bradbury turned out to have 35 defective filters and the Farragut had six.”

“This may have prevented a further disaster regarding the environmental control units. An explosion like the one that resulted in Chekov’s injuries could have been much worse.”

“I know I should be glad no one else was killed. It doesn’t make it any easier. I need a cup of coffee.” Kirk got up and stretched before letting out a load groan. As soon as the cup of coffee had been produced by the replicator Kirk drew in a deep breath. He flopped back down in a chair. “The worst part about all this is I have to face his parents tomorrow.”

Sarek’s eyes turned to the floor. “I am afraid I can offer no assistance regarding such a prospect. Pavel Chekov was an only child. Even after the loss of my planet and my Amanda I am certain I lack to fortitude and resilience to survive the death of my son.”

“Did I tell you about the time Spock was nearly killed by a Romulan bomb?”

“I was made aware of the nature of Spock’s injuries and why he required treatment at Zefram Cochrane Medical Center. Is this relevant to Lt. Chekov in any way?”

“After the bomb hit Spock was buried under a wall of rocks. Lt. Chekov had been pounded against a rock wall but when we realized Spock was buried under a wall of rocks he immediately helped dig him out. Chekov was hurt pretty badly but he gave it everything he had. There was no way I could have dug Spock out alone.”

“Lt. Chekov displayed a bravery and perseverance rarely seen when he saved my son as you have reiterated. The Vulcan High Council would not have survived the destruction of Vulcan had it not been for his efforts. All of Vulcan, past, present and future, is indebted to him.”

“I’m sure his family will appreciate the Council members attending the funeral.”

“I have spoken with Commodore Paris regarding his service. Starfleet had intended on having one of their Admirals conduct the service. I offered to conduct it myself and with permission from his family I was granted the opportunity.”

“The Vulcan ambassador conducting the service for a Starfleet lieutenant. I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Commodore Paris believed it would be an extraordinary funeral for an extraordinary officer.”

“Chekov was a truly extraordinary officer. He could do any task I assigned to him no matter what it was. I don’t remember a single time he ever used the words ‘I can’t.’ It makes me wonder what kind of captain, husband or father he would have been. His poor wife, she was destroyed by all of this.” He paused. “I suppose you understand that, don’t you?”

Sarek’s eyes darted to the floor. “My loss of Amanda is not comparable to the loss Yeoman Landon is currently experiencing. Our marriage was long by human standards and we had a child together. After her loss I discovered there was solace in the abundant memories of her and reassurance that part of her would continue due to Spock. Yeoman Landon had little time with her husband. Much of her grief may center around what could have been instead of what was.”

Kirk nodded in agreement. “Look Sarek, I know Amanda died when Vulcan was destroyed and that must have destroyed you and everyone who survived but how did you deal with the loss of her as an individual?”

“At first my sense of loss for Amanda was overshadowed by the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of billions of Vulcan lives. As I was able to process this cataclysm I came to realize how instrumental she was to my emotional stability. Her absence made the loss of Vulcan more difficult. In light of the fact that human lifespans are shorter than that of Vulcans I had tried to prepare myself emotionally for her loss. I found that such action was presumptive and headstrong. There was no way I could have prepared for her loss.”

“How did you?”

“As I grew accustomed to her absence, as difficult as that was, I realized that in addition to spending her life trying to educate people about species unlike their own so that they could have peace and diplomacy. Species who are emotional do fear the unknown and lack of understanding can lead to bigotry, hatred, and war. Her efforts were beneficial to the federation. She also spent a lot of time trying to assist Spock in reconciling his nature as a half human half Vulcan. I found it necessary to assure that her efforts did not cease due to her death. As an ambassador and as a father.”

“I’ll bet you miss her.”

“There is not a day I do not wish for her presence. I think of her very often during my duties as an ambassador. It is why I take it upon myself to assure that education about unfamiliar species is available wherever possible.” He paused. “I also had to assume responsibility to make sure my son was able to reconcile his hybrid nature.”

“You picked up Amanda’s torch.”

“An interesting analogy. But nonetheless accurate. I found it would be illogical to allow Amanda’s efforts to go to waste due to her death. Perhaps it would be logical for you and for Lt. Chekov’s wife and all those close to him to assure his efforts do not go to waste.”

Kirk’s eyes filled with tears before he replied, “I suppose you’re right. It just going to be tough not having him around. It would be so much easier to reconcile had he died in battle or died a hero. It was a freak accident. It was a meaningless death.”

“I am afraid I must concur that Chekov’s death was meaningless. Spock has described Lt. Chekov as having optimism and perseverance unmatched by any other officer. Were I to apply logic to emotion it would be logical for you to preserve his memory by continuing that type of optimism. To tarnish the memory of such a man with cynicism and bitterness is not logical.”

Kirk forced a grin. “You’re right. I don’t think it’ll be easy.”

“Amanda always insisted that the most difficult things are also the most worthwhile. It did not make sense to me until after she died.”

“You’re right.”

Sarek stood up. “James, I hope you will forgive my brevity, but I would like to return to my room to rest. I trust you would prefer some privacy while you are writing your eulogy.”

“Of course, Sarek. I appreciate you stopping by.”

“If there is any other way I can be of assistance, I hope you will not refrain.”

“Thank you Sir.”

As soon as Sarek was gone Kirk flopped back down at his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. The strain of the last couple of days caught up to him and his head ached. He got up and after taking a pain reliever for his budding headache, he stepped into the shower.

As the warm water ran down his body and the steam filled his lungs Kirk found his soreness slowly leave him. With the soreness gone he stepped out of the shower and dressed in a white t-shirt with gray boxers. White towel draped around his neck, he returned to his desk.

Kirk considered what Sarek had said and realized that although to himself, the crew, his family and Starfleet, the loss of Pavel Chekov was tremendous there was no virtue in reiterating what kind of a loss this was. The people attending his service could feel it, and if anything he needed to honor the memory of his comrade. He quickly penned his eulogy.

After another glass of water Kirk settled in the bed and turned the television to a channel airing a soothing nature program. Before long Spock returned from his meditation, his body and face still exuding muted distress. Kirk’s eyes met Spock’s before he greeted, “How was your meditation?”

“I found it quite productive although I may require several more nights of meditation. Have you completed your eulogy?”

“Yes,” he rasped. “It’s on the desk.”

Spock’s attention turned to the padd. He read the eulogy swiftly before returning the padd to the desk. “Your eulogy is quite eloquent. I believe the mourners will find it quite comforting.”

“I hope so Spock. If anything it’s all the things I’ve been trying to convince myself.”

Kirk watched as Spock undressed and slipped into one of his sleeping robes. “I have also found myself in difficulty due to the death of Lt. Chekov.” Spock sat down on the edge of the bed. Kirk reached out and stroked Spock’s back before he continued, “Dr. McCoy expressed regret regarding the efforts he made being nullified when Chekov died. I have found similar regrets of my own surfacing. While on the planet I administered first aid after the explosion in spite of my own injuries. My efforts were also nullified.”

As Spock turned and stretched out in the bed alongside Kirk, Kirk sighed, “You tried Spock, even if he didn’t make it in the end.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded. “I realize that regret is the most illogical of all emotions. We suffer and punish ourselves for that which we can no longer control.”

“I agree sweetheart. It’s also one of the hardest to reconcile with.”

“I have come to recognize that the function of regret is to prevent repetition of the initial mistake. It does not make it easier to contend with.”

Kirk curled up to his mate. “Spock, if you knew when that unit tore Chekov to shreds that he would eventually die from his injuries, would you have done anything differently?”

“I would not.”


	8. Yes I Think To Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Mother's Day is tomorrow and Father's Day is coming I hope most of you will keep Viktor and Irina Yelchin in your thoughts. This can't be an easy time for them.

The following morning Kirk rose at the break of dawn before he drank his coffee in the companionable silence of a morning on a planet. He sat in the chair and gazed out the window at a sight he hadn’t seen since he left for deep space; a sunrise.

Before his mate could stir from his sleep he made a point of ordering breakfast for both of them. Fruit and yogurt for Spock, a stack of pancakes for him. When the scent of the food pervaded the air Spock woke from his sleep.

Spock rolled over in bed before looking up at Kirk. “Jim,” he whispered.

“I ordered some breakfast. I figured we could both could use some fresh food.”

“Indeed. I find the prospect pleasing."

With no table to eat at both men had to sit at the desk and eat their breakfast. When Kirk rested his arm on the desk Spock briefly stroked the top of his hand. “You are upset.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you fully prepared for today?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I share that sentiment.” Spock nodded with understanding.

Kirk let out a heavy sigh. “Chekov was our friend. It’s hard to imagine that we’re going to have to start using past tense to describe him.”

After the soiled dishes from breakfast had been dealt with Kirk stood in the mirror and donned his formal uniform. Behind him Spock smoothed the front of his dress shirt before carefully placing his hat on his head.

One he was fully dressed Kirk looked at his eulogy notes before tucking them into his pocket. Spock approached him at the mirror and looked at him with a look of deep affection before gently stroking his back. Kirk looked his mate in the eye as a tear rolled down his cheek.

There were no words. There was no need for any. Spock took his mate’s arm as they headed to the service for their fallen comrade and dear friend.

At Starfleet Headquarters a small auditorium reserved for smaller conferences and larger class lectures was reserved for Chekov’s service. As Kirk and Spock entered the room Chekov’s wife and mother stood at the casket along with Sulu with Ben and Demora.

Alongside the casket was a larger than life portrait of Chekov in his Starfleet formal attire. A large collage sat next to it with pictures throughout Chekov’s lifetime. Many from his childhood, his wedding portraits, several pictures of him with an infant Demora in his arms, many many pictures of his time in Starfleet conveyed the life he’d led.

Kirk and Spock made no motion to disturb them as they gathered tightly around the open casket. Chekov’s father stood, his face sullen and distraught as he bit his lip. Chekov’s mother sobbed heavily as Sulu laid his arm over her shoulder in an attempt to console her. Meanwhile Demora held tightly to Sulu’s waist, pressing her face into his stomach. Ben stood alongside a distraught Yeoman Landon and held her tightly.

Behind them the door opened again and Kirk and Spock turned to see Ambassador Sarek enter with Commodore Paris. Commodore Paris was in her full regalia while Sarek wore a ceremonial Vulcan robe. Chekov’s family noticed the visitors and stepped away from the casket.

Kirk and Spock approached them. Kirk looked at Chekov’s parents, a woman in her mid-fifties who shared her son’s curly hair and a tall man with glasses and buzzed white hair. He whispered, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you captain,” Mrs. Chekov sniffled.

“We appreciate your efforts Captain,” Mr. Chekov nodded.

Kirk turned to Yeoman Landon, “Martha, I am so sorry.”

“Thank you sir,” she nodded.

As soon as Chekov’s family took their places alongside the casket Sulu whispered “go with daddy” to Demora before Ben picked her up and carried her to the first row of chairs. Sulu then joined Yeoman Landon and Chekov’s parents in the reception line.

Kirk and Spock each removed their hate before slowly approached the casket. Chekov was dressed in his Starfleet formal uniform, hands traditionally folded over his stomach. His still features and motionless chest spoke only of lifelessness. Kirk sighed, “I’m so sorry Chekov.”

Kirk noted several items set to be interred with him. A small yellow stuffed bear he presumed to be one of Demora’s toys. A slate gray Vulcan burial shroud lay over him, folded to his waist. On the shroud was silver embroidery in Vulcan language. Several artifcarts seemingly Vulcan in origin lay alongside him. His Starfleet medals were carefully pinned to his chest.

Kirk reached out and carefully clasped Chekov’s hand only to recoil at how cold he was. His hand then moved to the embroidery on the Vulcan shroud. Behind him, his mate noted the words written in the embroidery. Spock approached the casket and laid one hand on Chekov’s folded hands and the other on his forehead before reciting a Vulcan chant.

He lowered his head and closed his eyes before joining Spock. Spock stood with his hands folded behind his back on the opposite side of the room as Chekov’s family, the tradition stance for officers of a fallen crewmember. Kirk stood tall, handed folded behind his back.

After Sarek and Commodore Paris offered their condolences to Chekov’s survivors Sarek took his place behind the podium as Commodore Paris stood alongside Kirk and Spock. Commodore Paris whispered, “Good morning Captain.”

“Good morning, Commodore,” Kirk replied. “It’s good to see you although I can’t speak for the circumstances.”

“It is a monumental loss. Lt. Chekov was one of our best and brightest.”

The conversation ceased as mourners slowly made their way into the auditorium. Family members and crewmen each paid their respects before taking their seats. Before long Lt. Uhura, Dr. McCoy, Lt. Commander Scott, and Keenser paid their respects before taking their places alongside Kirk and Spock.

The Vulcan High Council arrived, walking together in a straight line. Each councilmember stood before the casket and like Spock had, laid one hand over Chekov’s hand and the other on his forehead while whispering a small Vulcan chant. Afterwards they took their places behind the ship’s officers.

As soon as the room was full and everyone was seated Ambassador Sarek approached the podium. “Mrs. Chekov, Yeoman Landon, the Chekov family, Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, councilors of Vulcan, men and women of Starfleet. We are here today to remember the life and the legacy of Lt. Pavel Chekov of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Lt. Chekov was an extraordinary human being, a superior Starfleet officer, and a hero to many. At this time we will now hear a word from Lt. Chekov’s friend Lt. Hikaru Sulu.”

With tears in his eyes Sulu bit his lip as he approached the podium. “It is with deep sadness and regret that I stand here today. Pavel Chekov was my best friend. He was a supportive and caring friend, a dedicated Starfleet officer, a loving husband and father. He was my daughter’s godfather and I could not have asked for a more loving and adoring godfather for my daughter.

I met Pavel Chekov during my first year at Starfleet Academy. He was a fellow freshman and when I met him I was struck by how young he was. I couldn’t imagine how a boy that young would qualify for Starfleet Academy but it didn’t take me long to have complete faith in him. As a freshman he was studious and diligent and above all he was extremely intelligent. We both spent many late nights studying for tests and simulations. His optimism was infectious and it made student life easier for everyone who surrounded him. There were days I wasn’t sure how I would have made it through our toughest classes if not for him.

I dated many times during my freshman year. I learned quickly that if Chekov had a bad feeling about certain men I was dating he was usually right. He had that ability to bring out the best in people and he knew when there wasn’t much positive to be brought out. When I met my husband Benjamin during my second year at Starfleet Academy Chekov was completely supportive. He got along with Ben easily and found many good qualities in him. He was my best man at my wedding and I was his best man at his. When our daughter was born he was elated for us and he adored Demora from the moment he met her. When he met Martha Landon during our first year aboard the Enterprise it didn’t take me long to see what he saw in her. Ben and I were happy that he had met someone whose intelligence, enthusiasm and ambitions matched his.”

Sulu’s voice quivered but he continued, “During our time aboard the Enterprise he sought to make the universe a better place than he left it. When the Narada attacked Vulcan he exceeded even my expectations when he saved the Vulcan High Council in spite of the disaster below. As a Starfleet officer he aimed to excel at everything he was asked to do. His enthusiasm made being in space for months into years easier to bear. He was a superior crewman, a loving husband, a devoted son and a good friend. I wish it could have lasted longer.

To Mr. and Mrs. Chekov, Yeoman Landon, I am so sorry for your loss. To my dear friend, may God rest you and keep you. We’ll hold onto you forever.” With that Sulu choked up and covered his eyes as he sauntered away from the podium and back to his seat.

Sarek returned to the podium. “We will now hear from Captain James T. Kirk.”

Kirk drew a deep breath before he took his place at the podium. He looked out to the crowd of mourners most of whom were crewmen of the Enterprise. There was not a single person in the room who wasn’t choking back tears. Yeoman Landon was seated between Lt. Sulu and Yeoman Rand both of whom held onto her tightly. Chekov’s father held his wife closely as she kept her head down. Meanwhile Ben Sulu sat with Demora in his lap as she buried her face in his shoulder.

Kirk bit his lip as he began, “Lt. Pavel Chekov was one of the finest and most brilliant individuals I’ve ever worked with. He was the youngest person to serve aboard a starship, and the youngest person ever to rise to senior officer aboard a starship. Those of us who served alongside him knew him for his fortitude and dedication as a Starfleet officer. On many occasions his skill and proficiency was the difference between life and death for many. Had he had the opportunity to, he probably would have surpassed me as youngest person promoted to starship captain.

We also knew him for the other roles he played, a dedicated husband, an adoring godfather, a loving son, and a dear friend. His sense of humor and optimism was infectious, and in the long interminable months into years aboard a starship both are valuable assets.

It’s been said that a candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pavel Chekov truly was one of the brightest candles.” He lowered his head and squeezed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to choke back tears. In a quivering voice he continued, “After someone you know and love has died the worst day is the day you realize you’re going to have to start referring to them in past tense. I believe that’s where everyone in this room is right now. In light of the way Chekov was taken from us there will never be a time where it will be easy to avoid being angry, bitter or cynical. But we owe it to our fallen comrade to try. We owe it to Chekov not to tarnish his memory with cynicism, bitterness, and negativity. Chekov was never bitter, he was never cynical, he was never angry or negative. He met every challenge put to him with bravado and enthusiasm. Above anything, he never used the words ‘I can’t.’ That was the type of spirit Chekov had which there are too few of. Now it has fallen upon us to pick up the torch and may not a single one of us let our beloved comrade down.

To Yeoman Landon, Mr. and Mrs. Chekov, Lt. Sulu, Benjamin and Demora, I am truly sorry for your loss and I sincerely hope you will all find some measure of peace in the days and years to come. Pavel Chekov, rest easily dear friend, we can take it from here.” A chorus of sobs filled the room as Kirk stepped away from the podium and took a seat next to Spock.

Sarek returned to the podium, “At this time I would like to speak on behalf of all Vulcan. The people of Vulcan suffered a cataclysm when the Narada destroyed Vulcan. Billions of lives were lost however due to the efforts of Pavel Chekov many, myself included, who otherwise would have died, survived. The Vulcan elders and the High Council of Vulcan were saved by the efforts of Pavel Chekov and so it is creditable to him that Vulcan survived. As long as Vulcan exists he will be remembered as the savior of all things Vulcan. Our children will sing his name. That is his legacy. Very few people save a life, but even fewer save an entire culture. To the immediate family and friends of Pavel Chekov, all of Vulcan deeply regrets your loss and grieves with you. But know that as long as Vulcan survives, he will not be forgotten and he will always be hailed as a hero.” Sarek paused. “At this time the service will continue in the Yuri Gargarin mausoleum.

Most of the mourners slowly filed out of the room. The only people who remained were the senior officers along with Chekov’s family and the Vulcan High Council. A handful of ensigns who’d been assigned to act as pallbearers remained. Commodore Paris left the room briefly but returned with a large federation flag.

Yeoman Landon along with Sulu’s family and Chekov’s parents each made their last tearful goodbye to the fallen man before Sarek and one of the councilors approached the casket. As Chekov’s family stepped back Sarek and the other councilor whispered a quiet Vulcan chant before carefully and deliberately folding the Vulcan shroud down, covering Chekov’s face.

After the casket was sealed Kirk helped Commodore Paris drape the casket with the federation flag. Kirk and Spock led the senior officers as they left the auditorium to make their way to the mausoleum.

As they walked toward the shuttle that would take them to the mausoleum Kirk whispered, “Spock, he had a Vulcan shroud that had Vulcan words on it. What does it say?”

“Protector and keeper of all things Vulcan,” Spock replied. “He has received the highest Vulcan honor.”

At the mausoleum some of the engineers from the Enterprise remained along with the senior officers. Commodore Paris stood alongside Sarek as he stood behind the head of the casket, his fingers steepled with both hands pressed together in the traditional Vulcan salute. Every Vulcan in attendance bared his head and steepled their fingers in the same manner as Sarek and formed a half circle around the casket.

Kirk and Commodore Paris stepped up to the casket and folded Chekov’s flag as Sarek began, “It is proven that the universe began with a singularity. Everything as we know it sprung from that singularity and so in spite of time and space we are all connected and we are all one. Pavel Andreievich Chekov, may the ancients and disciples of Surak welcome you and lead you into the hall of ancient thought. May they recognize you as the protector and keeper of all things Vulcan. For all of our past, present, future, is indebted to you. And may not a single one of us forget or take for granted that which you have done for us. May every person who passes these hallowed grounds know, your mark upon the universe is irrevocable. With great regret we have lost a warrior, a son, a friend, a husband, a hero. Pavel Andreievch Chekov, we return you to the stars from whence you came.”

Commodore Paris took the folded flag in her hands before stepping up to Yeoman Landon and presenting her with the flag. Before handing the flag to Yeoman Landon she stated, “On behalf of the Admiral of the Fleet; Admiral Heichahiro Nogura, the department of Starfleet, and a grateful Federation of Planets, we offer this flag for the faithful and dedicated service of Pavel Andreievich Chekov.”

The Vulcan High Council recited a small chant before they stepped aside and covered their heads with their cowls before leaving in a straight line. Each of Chekov’s family members touched the casket briefly before leaving the mausoleum. Meanwhile Sulu and Ben held each other tightly with Demora in their arms. Keenser tugged at Mr. Scott’s uniform prompting Mr. Scott to pick him up where he could reach the casket. Keenser bowed his head and covered his heart as he touched the casket with a single hand.

When all of the mourners had dispersed with the exception of Kirk and Spock the ensigns entombed Chekov in the walls of the mausoleum. Kirk stepped up to the marble wall and noted Chekov’s name in standard and in Russian along with Vulcan glyphs. He noted Chekov had been entombed alongside Admiral Pike.

The ensigns stood, military posture with their hands behind their back, staring at Kirk awaiting further orders. He turned to the ensigns and shouted, “Attention.” The ensigns stood at attention stance and saluted  
Kirk before he shouted, “Dismissed.”

As soon as the mausoleum was empty Kirk approached the wall and laid his hand over the name, “Admiral Christopher Pike” before turning to the name “Pavel Andreievch Chekov” on the adjacent entombment. He drew in a deep breath as a tear fell down his face. Spock quickly stepped up behind him and laid his hand on his shoulder. “All of Vulcan grieves with us, Jim.”

“Everything your father said, it was all true. But it doesn’t make it any easier. Chekov was gone too soon.”

“I must agree.” Spock drew Kirk into a tight embrace and held him for a couple of minutes before the two men left the mausoleum. “Jim, you were most well-spoken today.”

“Thank you. Spock, about what your father said today, what did he mean with all that talk about a singularity?”

“The astrophysicist Stephen Hawking postulated that every single atom in the universe began in one singularity that exploded and resulted in the beginning of the universe. It is an event I believe humans call the Big Bang. To Vulcans, we believe that the origins of the universe as one singularity means we are all connected and we are all one. In times of loss Vulcans find solace in this idea, believing that time and space lacks the ability to separate us. It is a common sentiment at Vulcan funerals.”

“So to Vulcans the universe is monolithic, Chekov is still with us.”

“Indeed. We are all forever a part of one larger whole.”

Kirk nodded and gave a stiff smile. “That does give me some solace. Spock, could you enlighten me as to what else goes on at a Vulcan funeral?”

“We spend three days following the death in observance. During this time we meditate and make sure the remaining family’s basic needs are attended to. It is similar to a ritual observed by Jewish people called a Shiva.”

Kirk nodded. “I understand.”

***

 

Once back in their hotel room Spock spent several hours in meditation, a worn black tunic draped on his shoulders. Meanwhile Kirk took the time to visit the botanical gardens he’s heard about but hadn’t had the chance to visit.

After purchasing some food and a small bottle of wine Kirk returned to their hotel room just as Spock was coming out of meditation. As Spock stood from his kneeling position Kirk sat on the edge of the bed and regarded the black Vulcan tunic Spock wore. Spock hadn’t told him much about the tunic.

“Spock, that tunic… That used to belong to the Ambassador didn’t it?”

Spock nodded. “Ambassador Spock left it to me along with the rest of his possessions from the universe he came from. He tried to be mostly Vulcan but he was so human. The few things that remained meant much to him.”

“And he meant a lot to you.” Kirk retrieved two wine glasses from a cupboard.

Spock nodded. “He was the only other Vulcan hybrid in existence and his wisdom was instrumental in helping me and my father understand and resolve my nature. He meant a lot to me as Admiral Pike meant a lot to you.”

Kirk nodded as he poured two glasses of wine. He handed one to Spock before toasting, “To those we’ve left behind.”

***

After a short stay on Earth the crew of the Enterprise returned to the ship and moved on to whatever awaited them. Each and every crewmember, including Yeoman Landon, returned to their post. Lt. Kevin Riley from engineering was given a permanent post at navigation.

Late in the evening in the officer’s mess Kirk sat alongside Dr. McCoy with a bottle of scotch between them.

“Sarek did a pretty good job at Chekov’s funeral,” Dr. McCoy commented. “Who the hell knew Vulcans could be so sentimental?”

“Vulcans will surprise you sometimes,” Kirk replied. “Sarek and the Vulcan High Council credit Chekov with the survival of Vulcan culture when the planet was destroyed. So I guess as long as Vulcan culture is alive and thriving, Chekov is still here.”

Dr. McCoy smiled. "Well he's not really dead as long as we remember him."

“You're right Bones. By the way how’s Joanna doing?”

“Oh she’s fantastic.” He smiled widely. “She’s considering going to Starfleet academy once she’s out of high school much to the chagrin of her mother.”

“Like Father like daughter. I’ve never seen you this happy.”

“For the longest time I thought she wouldn’t care if I were dead or alive and now I found out she’s missed me the whole time. Of course now I have to tackle why her mother cut her off from me but that’s for another day.”

“Bones that is…” Kirk was cut off by the comm whistle. He pushed the button. “Kirk here.”

Mr. Scott’s voice came through the intercom. “Captain, we had a little bit of a dust up with Yeoman Landon. She was working second shift and she had an issue with a piece of equipment so she just went barmy and stormed out. I’m not sure where she went.”

“Forget it Scotty. I’ll take care of this.” Kirk looked at Dr. McCoy and said, “I’m going to have to deal with this but I’ll be in my quarters later.”

“It’s all right Jim, just make sure Martha is all right."

Kirk jogged steadily down to the hydroponics garden and sure enough in the back of the garden Yeoman Landon sat on a bench in a corner. She sat with her hands folded between her knees as she stared at the floor.

Careful not to startle her, Kirk slowly approached the bench and gently sat down at the opposite end. Softly he explained, “Yeoman, I understand you had a little blow up down in engineering. Have you considered   
taking a little more time before returning to work?”

Yeoman Landon didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

“Yeoman, I feel for you. The whole crew feels for you. We are so sorry you are going through this. If you need more time you have it.”

She remained stock still.

Kirk sat in silence with her for roughly ten more minutes, taking no initiative to force a conversation before he stood up.

“Yeoman, Mr. Scott and I are not going to let you be disciplined for storming off. But I really want you to consider taking a couple more days. If you need anything…”

Yeoman Landon cut him off, and with her following words a proverbial atom bomb rolled from the hull of an aircraft. “Captain, I’m pregnant.”


End file.
